I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
wow bdsm is so cute
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