grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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