The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
