I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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