Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
