I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize