I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wish you could order shots online.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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