Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This is classic penis vs brain.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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