On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
