i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
