at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
