'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
