Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
dude i'm inner monologue high
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
