I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
