its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
