I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
