Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
