i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
