Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize