Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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