Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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