dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
