I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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