Hey man sorry I got all grabby
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
