Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
