You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
