did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
