just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
