The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I would fuck him just for his dog
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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