you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
