My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
sarcasm needs its own font
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
