theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
