I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
