I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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