He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize