I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
