better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
