you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
