In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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