just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
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