why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
