even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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