She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
