if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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