More tranny stories later!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
