Whoa Z and x make the same sound
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
