And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Tell her she can't have a vagina
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
