get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
