I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
