hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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