Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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