you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my being single is dangerous.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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