If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
