So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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