I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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