he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
