Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize