Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
