he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize