i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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