It's Friday. Sex?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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