He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
