How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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