I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
