Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
