Yo dont text me then not text me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
