Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize