Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
