she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
