dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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