the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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