i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
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