I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Actions speak louder than pants.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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