She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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