I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
