Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
please don't ironically join a cult
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